My Bribe
by ThexFifthxAlice
Summary: If you read anyone of my other fanfics then you know what to expect. If you haven't then CRACK, and pure nonsense, and naughty words, and yaoi mentioned. I bribed my friend, this is the bribe.


Screw serious fanfic writing, that is just not in my nature. CRACK ALL THE WAY SUCKAS! I told my friend that I would write them a fanfic if they got me smores stuff. Here you are, you bum! :o

OoO

"Spain, I have something to ask you." Romano asked, 'cause I made him.

"¿Si?" Spain responded, smiling like a creeper like he usually does.

"Why the fuck are we surrounded by cats! AND NO UPSIDE DOWN QUESTION MARKS. The person writing this is American. :o" To emphasize his point he pointed to every single cat on the magical rainbow hill they were on. And there were a hell of a lot of cats. Seriously. A LOT. I am so serious I will make Romano fly. And so Romano did fly...To Mars. He wanted his pants back, but they were covered in jizz. So he left them there. Then he flew back to the magical rainbow hill, and there were more cats. "ALL THESE CATS PISS ME OFF!"

"Don't be mean to my cats." Greece said emerging from the mess of kitties, really slowly. So slow, Spain and Romano had a siesta. Fiesta...Miesta...Niesta...Aiesta...I got distracted. MOVING ON.

"Well then...get them out of here. :|"

"...Okay." So then Greece left, making a giant plane out of his kitties."

"...That was easy...SPAIN!"

"What Roma?"

"WordPerfect sucks ass."

"I know Roma, I know. Can I touch you now. ;)"

"NO YOU F.A.G!"

Spain gasped epicly. "ROMANO! Not nice! That is bad language."

"Not like that you moron! F.A.G as in Francis, Antonio, and Gilbert. You idiot."

"Oh...can I still touch you?"

"...Fine." So Spain did. And then it got really sexual. It was pretty freakin' hot, lemme tell ya! Actually I won't. Sorry. Anyway, since I just have to, France and Prussia were watching. And they both got really horny. So they went after their lovers...If you can call them that. And those pairings are FRANADA and PRUSTRIA...I just made that up. I never once saw Prustria used, but it works. So they started getting it on too. It was hothothothothothot. And HOLY 'BUSCUS. There were a lot of volcano jizzing. It's quite amazing.

"Wait this is a crack-fic about me and Spain. Why the hell are you mentioning those guys! That is not part of the request! Stupid authors. Get back to us!" Romano just yelled at me...well that's just not nice. I guess I should get back to those two.

There once was a Italian boy name Lovino Vargas and he was a cranky ass mofo who cries way too much, hated guys, and had little luck with the ladies.("THE FUCK YOU ASS") One day he was forced to go to Spain with his younger brother and this big German guy...and his older brother decided to tag along. When they got to Spain a freaky perverted French guy was there, and the older German guy knew him. They all took a car to some guys house. Romano was pretty freakin' peed off by the whole situation.

The guys house they were going to was fucking HUGE! And the owner was outside, shirtless. He smiled angelically to the crowd, his green eyes shining brightly, his muscles looking oh so delicious. Romano wanted to do nothing more then punch him in his face. Romano was freakin' peed off, that guy looked to perfect. (He doesn't know that, that guy will soon be entering him...if you know what I mean, I know all you creepy ass perverts do. c; ) And so Romano did punch him in the face, using a speed hack and stuff. And the guy was still fucking smiling like a creeper he was! So then Romano's little brother, Feliciano, started scolding him.

"That was not nice Lovino! I'm going to sleep with Ludwig just to punish you! Yep, tonight! We will take a room right next to you! I will make as much noise as I can!" Ludwig covered his face with his hand in embarrassment. But they did do that, and it sounded REALLY HOT. Now time for the symphony of the word 'hot' sung to a popular orchestral piece...You can do that yourself. Tell me what song you used win a crack fic! It all depends on the song though...Moving on. Romano was pretty fucking pissed the next morning. So he threw tomatoes at Ludwig and Feliciano...and everyone else for the hell of it.

Now it's song time.

Nice guys finish last, that's why I'll treat you like trash, it's not what I really want to do~~~ AW BUT ROMANO! Stop being mean and just strip for Antonio already!...I used Romano...AW FUCK!...People are making weird noises in the kitchen right now...it is creepy as hell, man...or woman...or cat...or dog...or capybara...whatever you are. Romano is still not stripping for Antonio. DAMN I USED ROMANO AGAIN! FUKCING PHAILS...I'm not fixing that typo. My aunt just used this computer to check the time...I hope she didn't read any of the bad words written in FUCKING CAPITAL LETTERS!Moving on...again. Since I am the author and am stripping Lovino...wait no. He will be painted to look like a tomato...and he will be handcuffed, sitting on top of England's unicorn. When Antonio enters the room a bucket of tomato juice will poor all over Romano...Lovino...gawd dangit!...Antonio will not be able to resist. And he didn't. They had hot tomato sex for five weeks, nonstop. Now I am currently writing till I get about a thousand words for this CRACKNESS. So the Italian nation started sucking on a lollipop all sexy like, and Spain stared at him the whole time. He had a boner afterward...So Romano took care off it, like the lollipop. And School of Rock is on. DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN! FLYING ON SOME UNICORNS WITH A MAGICAL RAINBOW TRAIL! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! I AM SINGING EVERYTHING I'M TYPING! SPAIN AND ROMANO ON THOSE UNICORNS! I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! WHY IS EVERYTHING IN CAPS! I DON'T EVEN USE CAPS LOCK. NOW I AM USING CAPS LOCK! IT'S KIND OF EASIER TO USE~ I JUST PUT SQUIGGLE THERE~ AND THERE. SPAIN AND ROMANO HAD SOME RAINBOW SEX, ON TOP OF THOSE UNICORNS! I AM JUST SPEWING NONSENSE NOW! HOW THE HELL AM I NOT ON DRUGS! I got that out of my system. It will blow the classical music out your butt.

OoO

This is mostly just a bunch of nonsense...I am so proud. ;-; Yeah...lots of Tobuscus references. I will do that random contest though. ;D I get bored.


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